18 years ago from this moment…

18 years ago from this very moment I became a mother.
I had no idea of what was in store for me.
I didn’t know the love I’d feel for my own child. No matter how I felt, no matter how frustrated or mad, how sad, disappointed, proud, ecstatic or any other emotion…the unwavering LOVE I could have for another human being.
I had absolutely no idea…
I had no idea the responsibility, and that sometimes I just really would not know the answers.
I had no idea of the worry that would consume me, the constant second guessing every moment of his life from the moment he was born even until now. Second guessing if I was doing this right, if I was being a good role model, if I was teaching proper values, manners, and responsibility.

I had no idea how my heart could ache for time to just stand still, so I could take in those moments.
Parenthood is no joke, it’s not for the weak. The love, the concern, the worry. The letting go.
It’s so difficult.
I’ve raised an intelligent, handsome, wise beyond his years young man.
He’s got a bit of my rebellious and stubborn side to him too (that’s probably what scares me.)

But like his mama he loves hard, and he’s sensitive even if he tries not to show it.
I love you, to the moon. You’ll always be my baby, my first born.

When you were born, I was also born. We’ve been through so much together, I’ve grown up with you.
Happy birthday son, we made it. <3